140) Private Parts
Posted January 12, 2013 at 02:00 am
So, the new Devil May Cry has been leaked, and I've pretty much watched all of it on youtube. I've seen more than what needs to be seen, and I alone cannot express how disappointing this game is on all fronts. No, even as a terrible joke, it still manages to disappoint. It is mediocre in every possible way, and that is the single worst crime it can commit. It is never good, yet it's never bad enough to be amusing in the slightest. You cannot laugh, you can only roll your eyes and groan at its attempts to shock you. It fails as a Devil May Cry game, as an action game, as a movie, as a complete ripoff of John Carpenter's They Live. It fails at its social commentary, it fails to deliver a compelling plot. Any competent writer or director could have taken such a miserable plot and injected humor to break up the sheer monotony of its drama, but no, there is not a lick of humor to be found anywhere. The characters are boring at best and cringe-inducing at worst. The game's writer, Tameem Antoniadas, managed to accomplish only one of the goals he clearly set out on when writing this game. And that was to insert himself into it. Not as Dante, as many people pointed out his likeness in the original trailers. But no, he directly inserts himself as the twitter voice of humanity at the ending. 
I'm sorry I've been spending so many blogs and tumblr posts complaining about this game, but you have to see where I'm coming from, right? I love this series. I love Dante as a character. I love action games in general. And this game comes out and somehow manages to flounder all three of these things. I wish I could write this game as a failed experiment that will be ignored, but I can't. Capcom has already signed Ninja Theory for more, unspecified games. Somehow, they are happy with these results, even if they anticipated that the game would sell half as much as its previous game did. If this new game sells, then this is the direction that Capcom will take the series. We will only see the original games in passive-aggressive mockings, as Ninja Theory did in this game. Hair jokes, achievement names. If this new game doesn't sell, then Capcom will think that people have no interest in the franchise as a whole, and will simply kill it. This game is toxic. No good can come from it.
If you're actually interested in this game, then great, go out and enjoy yourselves somehow. Just understand why I'm not happy about it.
Sorry if this blog post was kind of a huge bummer. I'll be much happier on the next update! See you then!