A boy has the right to dream…and my dream was to write a huge chunk of text involving Outlaw Star porn. I’ve reached my own personal Galactic Leyline. Will you?

So, today was the single most manliest day of my life. It started off simple enough…just playing some Space Marine and purging the xenos scum like I do every day. Then my roommate/BFF shows up, and he brings me to a shooting range. Now, I’m not much of a gun-nut. Hell, I’ve never fired a gun in my life before today. I never expected the tiny pistol I had to kick like a damn horse and blow my ears off with the sheer sound of it. From all my experience with games, I figured a pistol was little more than a nerf gun that you resorted to once your decent guns were out of ammo. But damn, that shit kicked hard and loud. I actually did pretty well, too. Better than my BFF, surprisingly, and he goes to the range often.

After that, we picked up Leslie and we all went to Texas de Brazil. Ever heard of it? Let me set the scene for you. Imagine a classy restaurant, the classiest you can imagine. You sit down at your table, and there are no menus, no real side-dishes or anything. Instead, waiters are just carrying around hot, fresh meat for you. You find a waiter with something you want, you get him over and have him cut you a slab. Beef, pork, chicken, lamb…there was so much meat. SO MUCH. And I ate it. I ate it all. I didn’t want to stop. I was a goddamn meat zombie, devouring anything in my vicinity. But eventually, it had to end.

Then we went home and watched Shoot ‘Em Up. I shouldn’t have to explain Shoot ‘Em Up for you. But let me recap my entire day for you real quick. Played Space Marine -> Shot a gun -> Ate all of the animals -> Watched Shoot ‘Em Up.

Just another day in America.

SEE YOU WEDNESDAY